kyourza80 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} kyourza80) wrote,@ 2006-02-19 00:27:00 |
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How to be a Boner-fide Jackass
Many say they are, but there is only one....so far
Here's the formula to become a Boner-fide Jackass yourself. Follow instructions and you'll be saying "BONER" in no time.
Can you pick out the Boner-fide Jackass in this line up of the usual suspects?
If you said Number 2 from the left...congrats! you can sense that Boner Aura
1. You must be male: this one is pretty self explanatory
2. YOu must not have testicles: Yes you must be male as the 1st decree, but you absolutely must not possess Testicles...if you do you are immediately disqualified.
3. You must not wear a shirt whenever possible: Though you it can't be seen from the line up, a BJA will not wear shirt
-here are possible clothing combination: a) one pair of shorts b) one pair of shorts + one scarf c) one pair of shorts + one scarf + one hat
4. you must possess a very high pitched voice: This can be remedied by the removal of testies if you have a low and masculine voice. A BJA prides himself on his high pitched voice, especially when he is engaged in a heated debate about trivial things.
5. You must have your tearducts on constant release: A BJA is not afraid to cry! Infact he will cry on anything, for example: A lossin Halo, An argument that's not going well, or the day is too gloomy.
6. You must always brag about the skills you lack: To be a BJA is to be pretending to be great. If you are in a position that you have no idea what you're doing: A BJA will say..."I'm the best! Watch it will be the best ever done". If you just got your anus violently thrashed by another man in halo, you will say "Ha ha I win". If you know you suck at a certain skill comparing to all your peers, you will say "I'm like a million times better than you"
7. You must exaggerate at any opportunity you get: If you must say the number 1-10, YOu must say 1 million for example: "I Cleaned the table once", A BJA will say "I cleaned that table like a million times" If you must say the number from 11-100, you must say 1 thousand. If you must say 101-999, you must use 1 hundred. If you must say 1000+, well you won't have the brain capacity to count that high
8. You must always be the coolest cat in your eyes: Yes you must do anything and everything in your powers to be cool...in your eyes, through the eyes of a BJA. To be "Cool" and to be "annoying" is synonymous. Go out and things like..."Ha ha you suck", "(insert another name here) is a girl". Any and all things must be said completely out of context and make absolutely no sense
9. And Last but not least! The magical word "Boner" must be said early and often: To be Boner-fide one must make himself boner-fide. You must say the magical word of Boner every 20 seconds
Follow these instruction and you will be a certified Boner-fide Jackass in no time
Many say they are, but there is only one....so far
Here's the formula to become a Boner-fide Jackass yourself. Follow instructions and you'll be saying "BONER" in no time.
Can you pick out the Boner-fide Jackass in this line up of the usual suspects?
If you said Number 2 from the left...congrats! you can sense that Boner Aura
1. You must be male: this one is pretty self explanatory
2. YOu must not have testicles: Yes you must be male as the 1st decree, but you absolutely must not possess Testicles...if you do you are immediately disqualified.
3. You must not wear a shirt whenever possible: Though you it can't be seen from the line up, a BJA will not wear shirt
-here are possible clothing combination: a) one pair of shorts b) one pair of shorts + one scarf c) one pair of shorts + one scarf + one hat
4. you must possess a very high pitched voice: This can be remedied by the removal of testies if you have a low and masculine voice. A BJA prides himself on his high pitched voice, especially when he is engaged in a heated debate about trivial things.
5. You must have your tearducts on constant release: A BJA is not afraid to cry! Infact he will cry on anything, for example: A lossin Halo, An argument that's not going well, or the day is too gloomy.
6. You must always brag about the skills you lack: To be a BJA is to be pretending to be great. If you are in a position that you have no idea what you're doing: A BJA will say..."I'm the best! Watch it will be the best ever done". If you just got your anus violently thrashed by another man in halo, you will say "Ha ha I win". If you know you suck at a certain skill comparing to all your peers, you will say "I'm like a million times better than you"
7. You must exaggerate at any opportunity you get: If you must say the number 1-10, YOu must say 1 million for example: "I Cleaned the table once", A BJA will say "I cleaned that table like a million times" If you must say the number from 11-100, you must say 1 thousand. If you must say 101-999, you must use 1 hundred. If you must say 1000+, well you won't have the brain capacity to count that high
8. You must always be the coolest cat in your eyes: Yes you must do anything and everything in your powers to be cool...in your eyes, through the eyes of a BJA. To be "Cool" and to be "annoying" is synonymous. Go out and things like..."Ha ha you suck", "(insert another name here) is a girl". Any and all things must be said completely out of context and make absolutely no sense
9. And Last but not least! The magical word "Boner" must be said early and often: To be Boner-fide one must make himself boner-fide. You must say the magical word of Boner every 20 seconds
Follow these instruction and you will be a certified Boner-fide Jackass in no time
