I Love College Parties

2038-01-19T03:14:07Z

What does it mean to be in College? To party your ass off. To throw your worry, common sense, self worth, and self respect out the window to do whatever you feel like the crowd is doing and end up in a a stranger's bed, stranger's floor, or just a ditch down the street if you're lucky. How many of you can admit you have gone to a "good" party? None! All your parties are the exact same. It starts off with an insane amount of beer. Then you add to it trying to invite girls over because you're sick of the sausage fest that you've been throwing for the last three consecutetive parties. You try to add a theme of let's say that underwear only, so you maybe get a sneak peak of down at camel toe city. However your futile attempt ends you up with 30 guys in one room poking each other. Good job dumbass, you can now join every other dumb ass on your failed attempt of getting some attention.
My problem isn't with parties, parties are fine, but it's the way people try organize these parties, and what they do at these parties I have problems with...it's the shit that goes down at parties, parties at this shit hole that I have problems with.
1. The music: Parties just isn't a party without some music, or you it's just going to be a bus station. A party just isn't a party without some dumbass request some Oasis, Sublime, and some over produced over played hip hop number who will make the dead crawl out of their only to shoot themselves again.
2. The activities: Yes parties do need some alcohol for people to relax. Sometimes they are too relaxed. They are so relaxed that they are borderlining retarded. And there will always be someone who has a camera permanately attached to their hands so they be picture whoring the night away.
Exhibit 1:
On the verge to be legally mental challenged, but she makes up her lack of brain power with other superhuman powers if you look closely....She didn't learn to open her mouth that wide from stuffing beer bottles for sure.
At the end of the day, what is the point of drinking yourself retarded like that? It's even better now because you want your picture taken too so you can show the world how fucked up you were, and you were up for anything.

If you look closely, you can see the back of her skull through those empty eyes, and you know for a fact that you can probably see her debut film starring Caroline Cumms in "All Holes Taken"
3. The Dance: I feel that the dance has to be in a seperate category because I feel like it. So dancing moving your body to the music...However attrocious the music maybe. So everyone gets taken to the Candy Shop, while completely oblivious with the fact that your ass is being grabbed by that creepy guy who is trying to grind everyone regardless of gender (who's name happened to be Dhouse). Dancing = grope + meet the creepy guy's trouser snake
(Far left)
YES That guy</>
(Far left)
who just show up at random places, the fucking creepy guy who you never would even thinking about touching
(Far Right)
But he's been grabbing your ass all night but you don't notice because you're too busy "Dancing" (or Trying to grab a snake infront of you) and you don't care if another snake is trying to rear end you! You're too drunk to notice, and you hope to drink till you forget that You're carrying little danheiser!

I make cover pages for my TPS reports

I Love College Parties